Voices of Youth

Being a white middle-class male college student puts me right in the middle of the typical demographic of most college campuses, and also right in the middle of a typical paradox students are caught in. We spend our energy during the week learning, meeting people, understanding the world and how to better ourselves and our environment, then spend our weekends fraternizing, womanizing, getting drunk, smoking pot, and looking for a good time. All of this self-destructive behavior ultimately gives way to a midafternoon sunlit awakening, with the hope that someone remembers anything from the night before.

This does not describe everyone of course, and does not imply that simply getting drunk or smoking some pot is in and of itself destructive. But many Thursdays through Saturdays it is unnecessary to ask friends that you didn’t see out a particular night what they did because it probably can be summed up as, “Pre-gamed, bars, pizza, and looked for a party,” or something similar. Some find humor, some disgust, some both, in this situation. What is interesting is how a culture of education, and an environment of social and political awareness, coexists with the fierce drive at the chime of 9:00 p.m. on Thursday to get as inebriated as possible, as fast as possible, and to associate with men or women one would rather less talk to than wake up beside in the morning.

I am a male student who has taken courses such as Feminist Theory, Psychology of Women, and My Body, My Health. None of the aforementioned behaviors were suggested as good ones in these classes—actually, the exact opposite. But for me and for many young people my age, on weekends the lessons learned during the week are set aside in the name of swimming though the streets of downtown searching for good-looking people who may be interested in you and your gang of friends. This is not to say that everyone acts barbaric and not by their moral code, but that in these situations people are less articulate, not as thoughtful, and tend to say and do things they wouldn’t normally.

At a school that has resources such as women’s centers on campus, and a men’s center in town; lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transsexual awareness and advocacy groups; as well as many students coming from homes where being polite, respectful, and a good person are paramount, the weekend nights give way to a starkly and fundamentally different scene and environment. This is not just another critique of the sad state of affairs around drunk college kids — I am implicated as well, as a student who likes to go out and drink with friends and hang out in bars and environments where honesty and respect tend to be in short supply. Is it possible to play both sides of the fence on this issue? To be part of and contribute to the academic culture and be a “good person”, and at the same time to go out and be part of and contribute to the culture of college drinking and the bad behavior that comes along for the ride?

To make sense of this you have to start at the root of who you are, and how you were brought up. I was taught probably a modern-day version of Emily Post manners — in short, to always, under all circumstances, be respectful to others and myself, and to be polite. The lessons I learned at home were of course reinforced in elementary school, junior high, and high school. Seminars in K–12 on how to be a good person, how to do the right thing, how to make choices that are good for you and don’t hurt others, and various other awareness days make up the framework of being a good person. All these pillars of trust, honesty, and respect have been instilled in me since birth, laying a solid foundation to build my life upon.

The diverse college environment brings on awareness of other things such as class, gender, race, sexual orientation, assuming different responsibilities in your adult life and acquiring life skills. The courses you take, and the people you meet and surround yourself with, create your environment, which mirrors you as a person. You become an educated member of society with heightened awareness, you contribute in ways that fit with your worldview and exercise your knowledge for the better.

You are 21 or 22 years old with all of this knowledge and understanding in a culture of academics, art, acceptance, learning — and also with a lot of drugs, alcohol of course being the primary one. It is nothing new that excessive drinking is valorized in college and drunken sex glamorized, and thus every weekend is set aside as a time to act out of your mind; any unwanted hookup or other sexual encounter is rationalized in the morning as “not your fault”, because you were too drunk to know what was going on and maybe you don’t even know the other person’s name.

What needs to be mentioned that rarely gets mentioned is that a lot of people, including me, enjoy drinking. I thoroughly enjoy drinking. I enjoy good beer, wine (little I know about it) and other drinks. I love the camaraderie — not the frat-boy mentality, but the communal nature of just sitting around or standing around a bar and drinking and talking. Like a lot of people, I have no qualms about getting drunk. A lot of people like to drink, and a lot like to get drunk, not to excuse rude behavior or get away from problems, but for the sake of it. A lot of people go out not just because they like drinking, but because the bar is a place to meet other people and potentially hook up. College students and young people are caught in this paradox, but along with that paradox is a double standard: If I go out and drink a lot, am I part of this problem, not part of the problem, or am I myself the problem?

College drinking is a major issue on campus, along with violence, illness, poor academics, disease, weight gain, mental illness, eating disorders, even death and suicide. Alcohol is part of a larger problem. There doesn’t need to be a war on drugs as much as there needs to be a war on behavior associated with their use, especially with the legal drug alcohol.

Once people stop acting like the knowledgeable, thoughtful people they are, they are no better than anyone who is deliberately looking to harm others, cause trouble, or worse. All the education absorbed, all the lessons learned growing up, all the things your parents or guardians ever said is useless. Alcohol and other drugs are readily available, as are people to abuse them. If these drugs are going to be consumed, it cannot be to the point where you do not act like the person you are.

What I and most of my peers want is to be a good person, and live a good life. I think that you can be part of the academic community, a benefit to society, and still consume alcohol and other substances. College is a time for questioning yourself, and a good question for a person who likes to drink is how can you be responsible in a culture and environment that encourages lousy behavior? College is also a time for growth and learning, and perhaps what many learn firsthand is the culture of drinking and drugs, and in turn, how to consume them, or how not to.

We are in caught in a paradox and a contradictory situation that requires all of our life lessons, education, and experience to be brought to bear in this environment. If we can do that, if we can have fun and still remember who we are, then perhaps respect, honesty, and well-being can be implemented in a place where they are often in short supply.

Dean Toulan graduated from the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, in May 2007 with a degree in political science and a minor in psychology. He currently resides in Fall River, Mass., and is looking to work at the State House in Boston this fall.